Grieving During the Holidays: Making Space for Joy and Sadness

The holidays are often described as the most wonderful time of the year—a season filled with joy, family traditions, celebration, and togetherness. But for those who are grieving, this time of year can feel like a painful reminder of what's missing.

Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a major life transition, or even the family or childhood you never had, the holidays can stir up a complex mix of emotions. And while others may be decking the halls and checking off gift lists, you may be simply trying to get through the day.

At Gorham Counseling and Wellness, we want to remind you that grief has a place during the holidays. You don't have to force happiness or pretend you're okay. There is room for both joy and sadness—and both deserve to be honored.

Why Grief Feels Heavier During the Holidays

The holidays tend to amplify whatever emotions we're already feeling. If you're grieving, you may notice:

• A heightened sense of loneliness or longing

• Difficulty participating in traditions that used to bring joy

• Guilt for feeling happy, or guilt for not feeling happy

• A deep ache when others seem carefree or joyful

These reactions are completely normal. Grief doesn’t disappear just because the calendar flips to December. In fact, the holiday season often magnifies what has been lost.

How to Make Space for Grief (and Still Create Moments of Meaning)

Grief and joy are not mutually exclusive. You can hold both. Here are some gentle ways to care for yourself this season:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything

There is no "right" way to grieve during the holidays. Some moments may bring tears, others laughter. Allow yourself to ride the waves without judgment.

You might find yourself smiling at a memory one minute and crying the next. That’s okay. Let your heart make room for all of it.

2. Set Boundaries Around Holiday Expectations

If certain events, conversations, or traditions feel too painful, it’s okay to say no. You don’t owe anyone a performance of holiday cheer.

Instead, ask yourself:

• What do I truly need this season?

• What can I let go of this year?

• What feels comforting—not obligatory?

Protecting your peace is an act of self-compassion.

3. Honor Your Loss in Meaningful Ways

Creating space to honor the person or situation you're grieving can be incredibly healing. Consider:

• Lighting a candle in their memory

• Making their favorite recipe

• Writing them a letter or sharing stories with others who loved them

• Donating to a cause they cared about

These small rituals can help you stay connected while acknowledging your loss.

4. Start New Traditions (When You’re Ready)

Grief often marks a "before" and "after" in our lives. Starting new holiday traditions can help you redefine the season on your own terms.

This might mean:

• Volunteering instead of attending a party

• Taking a trip somewhere new

• Creating quiet time for reflection

• Choosing simplicity over hustle

Let your healing guide how you engage with the season.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your grief feels especially heavy, persistent, or isolating, therapy can be a vital source of support. You don’t have to carry it alone.

At Gorham Counseling and Wellness, our team of compassionate therapists offers online counseling across Kentucky, making it easier to get the help you need from the comfort of home. We specialize in:

• Grief and loss counseling

• Navigating holidays after loss or trauma

• Supporting emotional overwhelm and sadness

• Helping you honor your feelings without judgment

We accept most major insurance plans, including Medicaid, and offer flexible scheduling.

You Deserve Compassion This Season

Grieving during the holidays is hard. There’s no quick fix, and there’s no one-size-fits-all path.

But you are not alone. Your grief matters. Your memories matter. And you still deserve care, connection, and moments of peace.

If you're struggling this season, reach out to Gorham Counseling and Wellness. We are here to support you with empathy, understanding, and gentle guidance through this season and beyond.